So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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