You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
