your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
