How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
