ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
