Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
