You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
