Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
