Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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