No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
