she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
