Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
