do herpes really smell.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
