how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
