Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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