as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
