My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
