I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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