She is in my trunk
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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