We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
