Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
