you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
