They should really pass out barf bags in church
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
