I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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