your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize