Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
