I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
