we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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