Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
porn star boner night. come get it.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
