If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
