Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
