I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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