is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
