Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
