at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
