All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Semen is not good for contacts.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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