Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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