ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
