i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Enjoy the penises
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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