I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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