i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
