This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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