I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
just tell him i said nine months
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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