What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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