ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
