Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
