wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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