butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Someone signed my nipple.
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