this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
