Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
