Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm too high and old for this...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
