there's paper in my vomit.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
