this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
