is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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