I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
