I just pynch a tree in the face
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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