RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
