Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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