I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
