that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
