I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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